been thinking…

25 02 2008

To be very honest, I’ve been following edc’s scandal. Of course, I have seen the pics. and the papers have been raving about it. gheez, it’s hard to miss the news.

I do sympathize every one of them. It was their private affairs and it just happened they were well known so everyone’s making a fuss.

though I kinda despise Gillian for her hyprocrisy: but then again, it might be just her company who insist her to maintain the innocent image. and that’s very likely since HK’s entertainment industry are leaning that way.

Anyways, yes, I’ve taken private shots before and suddenly I’m wondering, will it haunt me too?

Afterall, as you grow older, there will be more people you’ll be exposed. And people will be taking the role of an executor, spilling all sorts of criticism on you and all.

What I like to say is, when you’re younger, you have more guts, less burdens¬†and you couldn’t care less. So I guess is, even one day someone get to see my shots and start hursing at me, I’ll still stand by what I had believed.

And forget those apologies. One is only accountable to yourself.

and probably the people who are related / close to you.

that’s why, it’s best not to get tangled, isn’t it. *winks*


island away…

23 11 2007

some of u had seen me online with my face…

thanks for the compliments…I do appreciate it.

As such…here’s another picture of myself….this time, i’ll not lock it up ūüôā

it’s taken last mth at an island….

of course…the night’s another thing *grinss*.



that text msg…

21 04 2007

…..”I missed you.”

It totally wrenched my heart.

But no. I just don’t wanna hurt another innocent soul like him.

I guess time will help him to forget me.

And time will help me forget you…


10 03 2007

work has been never ending these days. it’s really a wonder when the economy is obviously not that great but everyone’s doing a lot of investments. damn, i am seriously pissed at work, but oh well, sometimes it’s good to have some little comfort every now and then alone in that cubicle, sometimes not. ūüôā

there’s something that has been bugging me since 2 weeks ago. just one¬†& half mths ago,¬†our co accepted a few interns. there is¬†an intern who is¬†attached to my dept and i¬†was assigned¬†to be his mentor. he’s younger than me & believe me, a normal female will not give a second look, ‘cuz he looked too normal and like anyone on the streets.¬†

well, being a nice colleague & not abusing an intern, i was really kind¬†& i do¬†teach him a lot of our work. the thing is, as time goes by, despite him looking so normal & all, i kinda grow to like him: i seriously can’t differeniate if it’s some ‘sisterly crush’ or ‘normal crush’. besides, he’s really quite intelligent and through little conversations, i got to know his aspiration & all. in fact, i do think he’s really bold & daring to have such high ambitions.

the disturbing fact was, i can’t believe that i’m¬†feeling ‘something’ for someone who’s younger than me, looking way normal & even secretly harbouring for some affection back too! strange enough, probably i see him like a little kid, that’s why i dun feel any lust for him. it’s just..pure little puppy love for him. made me feel like a little sch girl somehow.

and i do trust my instinct: he does like me too.

sometimes in the midst of work, our hands would brushed across.
sometimes the eye contact will stay longer than usual.
he would stay with me despite a group of us will go for lunch.
that sunshine smile of his.
felt protected ‘cuz he’s much much taller than me..
but i guess¬†what’s holding us back is, we do know this is just temporary: everything will be over after his internship & probably it’ll just die off.
& mind u, he’s really quite a decent chap.

neither¬†i intend to make it grow.¬†it’s impossible. it’s just a fad which it transport me to those times when love is pure & all.

though i can’t be sure what i may react on spot if he really ask me to be his girlfriend, i believe on my part, it’s quite impossible for me to accept.

i don’t want to hurt a nice guy like him.

i started to wonder, is it because it’s been quite some time since i have affection for any man, & affection from any man? i dun mean sex, but affection as in a real relationship?

probably a part of me doesn’t want to face the reality: growing older. though i’m in my early twenties, but still, sometimes being an adult feels shitty. sometimes, it hurts to lose some of those innocence i had way back i was younger.

i guess no matter how animalistic i can be, i’m still a human with feelings at the end of the day.

& like any other normal humans, i can’t live alone and probably afraid of loneliness.

til then, let’s just see how thing goes…off to partying tonight first!

And obviously…

13 02 2007

U need a password to get in to that post ….

Try hankering after it.. *muacks*

Protected: My first photo

13 02 2007

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stars and nature

6 01 2007

Ha.. promises are meant to be broken at times, isn’t it. I promised to write¬†more but life is really catching up on my time. Maybe I should stop and take a break from my lifestyle and recharge…¬†wait til this assignment is done & once I fly back to Singapore, I’ll see how it goes.

Come to think of it, sometimes I wish that I could grab all the stars in the sky just for myself.

Well, stars are stars when they are up in the sky. In reality, they are just either satellites or stones up there burning etc.

But, as a human, I do have my fantasies and wants. Even I know that stars are impossible to get it, but I can’t help thinking and dreaming of owning at least one of them.

&¬†knowing myself, once I get that thing, I’ll grow tired of it, and probably wished I never got it.

Just like people that I fancied. Especially dashing, good looking and most of the time, they are attached men.

They are just like stars to me. Impossible to get, but sometimes, can’t help wishing they are mine. After getting¬†them,¬†depending how good¬†are they, I probably get tired of them over time. Neither I meant to wreck ppl’s lives, it just happened that the men that I met are probably not faithful in the first place.

So knowing myself, I never want to be another 3rd party. And that means between that man and I will just be purely platonic, admiring each other, and probably landed up in bed.. but no worries, I will not want that man. ‘cuz deep in my heart, I do know, he wouldn’t be mine (and I don’t think he could stick to me forever too).

In a way, be glad I’m here to test your man out. You should even thank me for showing you how ‘great’ is your man to you.

I guess humans are¬†born to be fickle-minded, and at the same time,¬†they can’t deny their animalistic nature.¬†

Afterall, we are animals who categorized ourselves as the ‘higher being’. In actual fact, we are nothing but just animals. When you start thinking and understanding you are just an animal, probably you’ll start to really understand, you are just being yourself.

Self denial is pathetic.

Being true to yourself needs courage too. *winkz*