I hate to admit it but…

I feel vulnerable, because I get touched very easily.

but I know it's just a game.

Sad to say, I do think of him every now and then.

Despite not knowing how he is.

Damn.

Gosh.

He reminded me of an ex: sensitive, caring, passionate and a little playful.

Maybe that's why I like him.

I love his hungry kisses.

I like his passionate touch.

I like that sneaky grab of my hands.

The untouchables in the public.

That tongues on my bosom.

That long fingers play at my pussy.

That mighty thrust in it. Oh, what a great…pleasure.mmm

I just can't get enough of him.

and not enough to satisfy my desire.

The exciting part is, we were at outdoors doing such lovely stuff.

Thrilling.

I wish he was here.

*licks*

Pleasure

Obviously I didn’t manage to find the couple I wanted.

As much as I’m open minded, I need to relate to the guy first. I must know a little of him.

Unless that guy is able to electrify me instantly.

So far there’s only one. He really knows how to please a female.. *blushes*

Not even him could electrify me instantly..

And I must not know the female at all.

Call it paranoid, but haha… I can’t imagine seeing a female I know personally naked in front of me.

‘cuz… I might just fantasize about them! It’s too awkward.

I miss him though.

After that eve, we did meet up for lunch. His working place is quite near me, so we could afford to see each other sometimes.

I thought we were over. We never started though, but it should be over. We were trying to be back as friends. I built a wall between us: we stop talking intimately.

Sometimes I asked him who I was to him.

He didn’t reply, or he’d change the topic.

Then this day, we met for lunch.

We didn’t see each other for about 2 weeks that time.

It was during the smoke break. He was telling me how bad his office environment was.

Then, a hand came over my shoulders.

At a split second, I didn’t know how to react. How could this happen? I thought he mentioned he couldn’t live a double life?

Netiher I remembered him mentioning any problems between him & her.

I decided, to sit closer to him. I moved.

I wanted to ask him why. But the words just couldn’t come out that time.

So I lit the 2nd cigarette and when I turned to look at his face, our eyes met.

We kissed.

It was a long kiss.

I was falling for him all over again.

3-some

It’ll be damn fun and interesting to see your man fucking another girl.

Wanna see do he groove her better than you?

and it’ll be interesting to get another female tasting you.

‘cuz the female will know where are the right grooves and spots…

Damn, I’m feeling horny right now in office and my G string is wet imagining all such.

I need some three-some.

Maybe I’ll look for a couple this weekend… grins…

That eve

we didn’t see each other for around a week for lunch or dinner before that eve.

after that trip at the roof, confessions came through the waves & words stated his feelings.
and I let it carry on. I don’t know why.

finally we met near the beach.
come to think about it, why did we even meet up there in the first place?

it’s near midnight, and still now I can’t believe we are spending that white holiday together.

we sat side by side.
our shoulders next to each other.
we kissed. god knows why.
he looked down, & started to say he couldn’t live a double life.

I didn’t say anything.
My heart and my mouth were not synchornized enough.
I didn’t know how to react. That was not I’m asking for.

& What I meant was, I wasn’t seeking a relationship with him.
We are not meant to be together at all!

I just felt comfortable with him, that’s it.

Did I mislead him?
Or I got misled instead: by plotting me to put in feelings for him?

He’s not super good looking type.
He just got that rugged look. That’s the charming part of him.

What a damp way to end that eve. If he didn’t say anything about that, we would have landed up in some hot stuff.

Which came later. Much later in months to come.

The first time

I remember the first time we physically touch.

And I dun mean sex. 

It was at the rooftop of a shopping centre in town.

It was my first time being there.

oh damn, am I really a local. How could I be unaware of that place???

The night scene was breathtaking. We went out for dinner and decided to have a smoke.

Somehow or rather, it must be the breeze.

Or was it the moon?

We just held hands there.

Our first time.

I put my head on his shoulders. It was comforting he was around that time.

But really, it was damned.

We are not supposed to.

We don’t belong to each other. That’s the problem.

But I couldn’t be bothered. Even he has to go home and accompany her.

Though it’s all in the past, but, I still could remember it.

Every time I past by there, my heart swallowed in pain.

Sentimental? I guess it’s more like a fool.

Because in the first place, I knew it’ll lead to nowhere..

Nowhere.